Friday, January 06, 2006

I was stunned

When I left work that day I called her wondering what in the world was going on. Her voice was truly upset. She wanted to know how and why those pictures were the way they were. Who painted Jake's hair ORANGE??? He doesn't have ORANGE hair and on and on about how horrible the pictures were. I was stunned and very much on the defensive trying to explain we had difficulty working with what we had and Leah being so young ... And I was totally shocked that a 22 year old was yelling at me, a 51 year old like I was 15 years old!

And then she went off on my son. Regardless of my telling her that I didn't want to discuss this, she was on her rampage and painted such a horrid picture of him. I kept trying to tell her I didn't want to talk about it. Please, lets not discuss it. I did make a few interjections as she painted Matthew into being such a monster. If he's such a monster why did you have TWO babies with him? Don't you realize that you're just as criminal as him? Violence goes both ways and I saw you pounding on him in the parking lot. I tried telling you then that although your fists are small, you are doing damage to Matt emotionally. Domestic violence goes both ways. Period. End of story. I tried telling her she needed to get help and in near hysteria she screamed there was nothing wrong with her. Again, I tried explaining that even if it was all my son she needed help to find out why she kept herself in that situation. She needed help to make sure she didn't repeat the same mistake. That my hope for her was, as the mother of my two beautiful grandchildren, to be able to belong in a healthy relationship. Period. End of story. She lost it in her rantings to me and hung up on me.

And now, after sitting on the fence not knowing who to believe, I saw the other side of her that my son had been trying to tell me. Quite honestly I didn't know who to believe. I do know that Matt has problems also as he should never have laid a hand on her and I was quick to blame him. After all, didn't I leave him sitting in jail? But that day -- on the phone -- I saw the whole picture.

Amd it was at that time I decided my grandchildren needed my son, their father, and he was struggling to get an attorney. I gave him the money I'd have spent on his kids to him to aide him financially as he struggled to get out of this mess.

I wrote the above a few days ago. Today I helped Matt move a few things and wonder upon wonders, they met in the wee hours of the morning to eat. 2 am. And yet she tells all that she's so afraid of him. And Matt agrees that she shouldn't have gotten so upset about my 'painting' Jake's hair orange, but, ... and when I informed him that nobody painted his hair ORANGE and that just happened to be the way it turned out because of my camera and the program that Missi used to blend the photos together. Sheesh. Get over it why doncha? Puleeze! I still can't believe that I went through all of that trouble for her with those pictures and that is the thanks I get.

And Matt is contemplating marrying her. I really believe he doesn't believe she'll do this to him. But I believe she is totally capeable of putting him in jail. He was preparing to leave her and if she can't have him, then nobody can have him. And she was the one feeding the prosecuting attorney all the information that had her blow up to the judge stating, ALL OFFERS ARE OFF THE TABLE!

God help me! I have to try to keep in mind that they are young. I did some pretty stupid things too when I was young. And they have two children together. If there weren't any children I'd say, run buddy run! But who knows what time and maturity will bring to the two of them and I guess they should try to manage with counseling for the kids sake and because they obviously want to be together.

I haven't a clue as to how this will end.

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