Now how many times have I told someone ...

that was asking what was going on with me to go check out my blog? With this joke being in the Sunday Magazine on January 29,06, I'd venture to say that more people are saying that than just myself.

Can you imagine sleeping on this?

She does! Right on top of the filth with no sheets on the mattress. It's been like that for months now. This is the end of line. The last bit of patience I can muster up. I'm done.

I will clean this mess up this weekend!

And haul it all to the dumpster!

Unbelievable!!!

I told her I was going to do this!

And I did!

Hillary for prez?

The USPS has created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation. In daily use it was discovered that the stamps were not adhering properly to the envelopes.

This enraged Senator Clinton who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing the special commission made the following findings.

*The stamp was in perfect working order.
*There was nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.
*People were spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.

Stewart HOT Cinnamons

You know those soft, melt in your mouth peppermints you can only find at Christmas time? Well, I found these cinnamon candies that are soft like that and melt in your mouth like that and the only thing is that they are takeyourbreathaway HOT!!! And I was telling my pregnant with her third child daughter about them and she said they sounded yummy. She's like me. She likes things like that.

Now to paint the picture:
I collect things for her, articles, doodads, clothes, whatever's and when I get a big enough pile I put them all together and send them to her. This time I had a maternity top, some kitchen gadgets, a couple of articles, and three of those candies that I wanted her to try. I stuffed all into one of those 9X11 bubble envelopes and sent them on their way.

A few days went by after I mailed the package and I asked her if she'd received it yet and she said, no. I then told her I'd blown it. I sent the package and had nothing (NOTHING) in it for the grandkids and to please cover for me (bad grandma!).

The day came when the USPS delivered the package successfully and upon opening it, out tumbled the three cinnamon candies along with the rest of the goodies. Now, I must inform you of how hot they are. They are HOT! I've gotten quite a kick out of watching the reactions of adults eating them. If you bite down on them they can almost take your breath away and you have a tendency to bite down on them because they're soft and they're melting. And they are yummy hot!

And then the sacrificial mom only sees three and hands them all out to everyone else in her family. One to her husband, one to her four year old son and the last one to her two year old daughter forgetting all about our multiple conversations.

And they reacted. Big time! First John, her hubby says, this is the nastiest candy I've ever had. Truthfully? I'm betting he colored a better picture than that, but it's what she told me he said and I'm sticking to it. Then Quincy came running down the stairs whining, mommy! This candy is HOT! And as soon as those words tumbled out of his mouth, here comes Sissy scooting out of the kitchen. Sssssss, sssss, sssss, she says, as she tries to get her mouth to cool down, and then it hit Missi quick as lightening as the scene unfolds in front of her, oh damn! That's the candy mom was telling me about!

And she didn't even get to taste it.

And Quincy, my four year old grandson told me fiercely on the phone that evening, grandma, don't send no more hot candy!

And I have the last two to send to her in her next package, but who knows when that's going to be.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

Damn Good Thing

I was going to grab a picture of Katie on the Verucci (piece of junk) riding around on the scooter and tell what a success story it was when last weekend it left her stranded all over the place. And of all things, it won't hold a charge. Now before you go telling me to get a new battery, let me tell you that we already did that. In the beginning. When Harold was dumping dollar after dollar into that piece of junk.

And needless to say Harold took his frustration on the bike out on Katie. And the bike is parked in the shed at this moment because he needs a break from it.

One day, when confident that all will be fine, I will take a success story picture of it.

But meanwhile all I can say is, grrrrrr

Bien Aqui!

Come on down Snowbirds! The weather is fine!

OMG is traffic horrible. Plugged up and congested with multiple light changes at intersections before you can move on through. And you can count the out of state license plates. Ohio, Michigan, New York, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Indiana, Illinois,Ontario, and on and on with an occasional Texas, Maine, New Hampshire tossed in. Right now most plates don't have Florida on them.

But who am I to complain? They spend a lot of money and they pay for a lot of things, which is why I don't pay state or local taxes. So nice! I can put up with them for a few months and share the sunshine.

I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!

Verucci Piece of Junk!

My dear husband came home with this piece of crap about a month ago. It's a stupid, dumb moped made by Verucci, a 2005 with 130 miles on it and WHAT A DEAL it was only $700 and no, it doesn't run, but he is going to get it to run. No problem. And before I continue let me say that the person he bought it from had cut wires from this and that and changed the carburetor in it trying to get it to run.

The junk would start, but wouldn't stay running, but upon investigation Harold discovered that the spark plug was cross firing. It took a couple of days to get the spark plug, get it cross referenced and in his possesion, but he got it and it did start a bit easier. However, it still wouldn't stay running. Harold buys a carburetor from a local business. The jerk makes him think he's getting a good deal. The carburetor had a price tag of $175 on it, but give me yours and you can have this one for $100.

Then his friend, Keith comes by to try to help him figure this bike out. It's getting spark, fuel, has compression so why won't it run? They put on the new carburetor and Keith discovers the 'slide' isn't working in the carburetor and he plays with it and gets it working,, but the final consensus is that the choke isn't operating properly. Do it manually and it will run like a banshee.

Harold buys a new choke, that comes with the 2nd new carburetor, and he also purchases the 'black box' that controls all. When they come in the mail he's so excited that it doesn't matter that he worked 12 hours that day. He takes his bath, gets dressed, and out to the garage he goes. Head hanging a couple of hours later as his effort was to no avail.

Then he's emailing the parts place that he's been ordering the parts from online located in Clearwater, FL, requesting some advice. A couple of days later he's speaking to a tech for about 1/2 an hour and he's got it all figured out now. He's got to take all apart, trace the wiring, do this, do that, put all back together and all should be well.

He started at 9 am today and it's now 7:30 pm and it still won't stay running! He stuck it up on his pickup truck and tried to take it back and the guy wasn't home. He's got to call him later. But he's still trying to get it to run out in the garage.

And Keith has company in from out of town and can't help him trouble shoot it this weekend.

Did I tell you that the 2nd carburetor was only $69 brand new, without a trade in, and included a brand new choke? Good, fair distributor in Clearwater. We still need to address the crook here in Fort Myers.

Did I also tell you that my husband bought this incredibly good deal from a fellow that gets them from Miami and is not a reputable dealer? Any dealer warranty was voided when it was given to us with cut wires, etc.

And we're waaaaaay over a $1000 now!

Some deal!

I told Harold I was going to shove it in the canal alongside our house. His response? Don't deprive ME of the pleasure!

I was stunned

When I left work that day I called her wondering what in the world was going on. Her voice was truly upset. She wanted to know how and why those pictures were the way they were. Who painted Jake's hair ORANGE??? He doesn't have ORANGE hair and on and on about how horrible the pictures were. I was stunned and very much on the defensive trying to explain we had difficulty working with what we had and Leah being so young ... And I was totally shocked that a 22 year old was yelling at me, a 51 year old like I was 15 years old!

And then she went off on my son. Regardless of my telling her that I didn't want to discuss this, she was on her rampage and painted such a horrid picture of him. I kept trying to tell her I didn't want to talk about it. Please, lets not discuss it. I did make a few interjections as she painted Matthew into being such a monster. If he's such a monster why did you have TWO babies with him? Don't you realize that you're just as criminal as him? Violence goes both ways and I saw you pounding on him in the parking lot. I tried telling you then that although your fists are small, you are doing damage to Matt emotionally. Domestic violence goes both ways. Period. End of story. I tried telling her she needed to get help and in near hysteria she screamed there was nothing wrong with her. Again, I tried explaining that even if it was all my son she needed help to find out why she kept herself in that situation. She needed help to make sure she didn't repeat the same mistake. That my hope for her was, as the mother of my two beautiful grandchildren, to be able to belong in a healthy relationship. Period. End of story. She lost it in her rantings to me and hung up on me.

And now, after sitting on the fence not knowing who to believe, I saw the other side of her that my son had been trying to tell me. Quite honestly I didn't know who to believe. I do know that Matt has problems also as he should never have laid a hand on her and I was quick to blame him. After all, didn't I leave him sitting in jail? But that day -- on the phone -- I saw the whole picture.

Amd it was at that time I decided my grandchildren needed my son, their father, and he was struggling to get an attorney. I gave him the money I'd have spent on his kids to him to aide him financially as he struggled to get out of this mess.

UPDATE:
I wrote the above a few days ago. Today I helped Matt move a few things and wonder upon wonders, they met in the wee hours of the morning to eat. 2 am. And yet she tells all that she's so afraid of him. And Matt agrees that she shouldn't have gotten so upset about my 'painting' Jake's hair orange, but, ... and when I informed him that nobody painted his hair ORANGE and that just happened to be the way it turned out because of my camera and the program that Missi used to blend the photos together. Sheesh. Get over it why doncha? Puleeze! I still can't believe that I went through all of that trouble for her with those pictures and that is the thanks I get.

And Matt is contemplating marrying her. I really believe he doesn't believe she'll do this to him. But I believe she is totally capeable of putting him in jail. He was preparing to leave her and if she can't have him, then nobody can have him. And she was the one feeding the prosecuting attorney all the information that had her blow up to the judge stating, ALL OFFERS ARE OFF THE TABLE!

God help me! I have to try to keep in mind that they are young. I did some pretty stupid things too when I was young. And they have two children together. If there weren't any children I'd say, run buddy run! But who knows what time and maturity will bring to the two of them and I guess they should try to manage with counseling for the kids sake and because they obviously want to be together.

I haven't a clue as to how this will end.

A Change of Heart

A few months ago I told the story of abuse between my son and his girlfriend, the mother of two of my grandchildren.

Now I have another side of the story to tell.

Over Thanksgiving weekend I busted butt to get my house decorated for Christmas. I had the grand notion that I would be able to take some cute pictures of my grandkids with my digital camera and get some awesome photos taken of them for Christmas. Why wouldn't I be able to do that? My daughter in Ohio has done it quite charmingly for the last 3 years with her children. It should be a breeze.

Little did I know how difficult it would be to incorporate a not quite 3 month old with a busy 22 month old. Lots of hard work did not pay off. I was very disappointed with the results.

Mom was on her way home when I called her mom and asked if she was working the following weekend and would she help me with the babies if I came over to their house. She said quite plainly, there is always Walmart. Okay. Yes there is. She'd let me know loud and clear that she wanted no part of it.

However, I'm not one to give up quite so easily so I asked my daughter in Ohio if she thought she could do something with the pictures. She had impending finals and I knew we had to wait for them to be history, but afterwards she put together a collage of sorts and considering what we had to work with I was pleased with the results. I called Sarah and asked her how many photos she wanted as I was going to order them from York Photo online. She wanted 10 of the 4 x 6's and 5 of the 5x7's. No problem I told her and the order was put in.

I expected them by the end of the week and time was of the essence as Christmas was the following weekend and Sarah was wanting to insert them in her Christmas cards.

I got home that Saturday evening and as expected they were in the mailbox. I called Sarah on Sunday and she said she was too tired to come and pick them up. I understood how difficult it would be to drag out the babies and told her that Harold delivered around Cape Coral and perhaps he'd be able to get close enough for her to run and get them on Monday.

On Monday my phone started going off at work. I've got it set on meeting because of the nature of my job, but I happened to catch one of Sarah's calls. I whispered to her that I was swamped and had to get back to work and would call her back later. She said irritatingly, please do! I want to talk to you!

Huh? What's with the attitude I'm thinking to myself? But I had to continue working and I was swamped. However, a few hours later I got a chance to call my husband and I asked him if he'd had a chance to get together with Sarah and get her the pictures. He said, yes he did. And as a matter of fact he was going right by the house and he took the pictures right to her door. She didn't have to drag the kids out at all.

Now what is up with all of this?

That's for tomorrow's post.