Now how many times have I told someone ...

that was asking what was going on with me to go check out my blog? With this joke being in the Sunday Magazine on January 29,06, I'd venture to say that more people are saying that than just myself.

Can you imagine sleeping on this?

She does! Right on top of the filth with no sheets on the mattress. It's been like that for months now. This is the end of line. The last bit of patience I can muster up. I'm done.

I will clean this mess up this weekend!

And haul it all to the dumpster!

Unbelievable!!!

I told her I was going to do this!

And I did!

Hillary for prez?

The USPS has created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation. In daily use it was discovered that the stamps were not adhering properly to the envelopes.

This enraged Senator Clinton who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing the special commission made the following findings.

*The stamp was in perfect working order.
*There was nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.
*People were spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.

Stewart HOT Cinnamons

You know those soft, melt in your mouth peppermints you can only find at Christmas time? Well, I found these cinnamon candies that are soft like that and melt in your mouth like that and the only thing is that they are takeyourbreathaway HOT!!! And I was telling my pregnant with her third child daughter about them and she said they sounded yummy. She's like me. She likes things like that.

Now to paint the picture:
I collect things for her, articles, doodads, clothes, whatever's and when I get a big enough pile I put them all together and send them to her. This time I had a maternity top, some kitchen gadgets, a couple of articles, and three of those candies that I wanted her to try. I stuffed all into one of those 9X11 bubble envelopes and sent them on their way.

A few days went by after I mailed the package and I asked her if she'd received it yet and she said, no. I then told her I'd blown it. I sent the package and had nothing (NOTHING) in it for the grandkids and to please cover for me (bad grandma!).

The day came when the USPS delivered the package successfully and upon opening it, out tumbled the three cinnamon candies along with the rest of the goodies. Now, I must inform you of how hot they are. They are HOT! I've gotten quite a kick out of watching the reactions of adults eating them. If you bite down on them they can almost take your breath away and you have a tendency to bite down on them because they're soft and they're melting. And they are yummy hot!

And then the sacrificial mom only sees three and hands them all out to everyone else in her family. One to her husband, one to her four year old son and the last one to her two year old daughter forgetting all about our multiple conversations.

And they reacted. Big time! First John, her hubby says, this is the nastiest candy I've ever had. Truthfully? I'm betting he colored a better picture than that, but it's what she told me he said and I'm sticking to it. Then Quincy came running down the stairs whining, mommy! This candy is HOT! And as soon as those words tumbled out of his mouth, here comes Sissy scooting out of the kitchen. Sssssss, sssss, sssss, she says, as she tries to get her mouth to cool down, and then it hit Missi quick as lightening as the scene unfolds in front of her, oh damn! That's the candy mom was telling me about!

And she didn't even get to taste it.

And Quincy, my four year old grandson told me fiercely on the phone that evening, grandma, don't send no more hot candy!

And I have the last two to send to her in her next package, but who knows when that's going to be.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

Damn Good Thing

I was going to grab a picture of Katie on the Verucci (piece of junk) riding around on the scooter and tell what a success story it was when last weekend it left her stranded all over the place. And of all things, it won't hold a charge. Now before you go telling me to get a new battery, let me tell you that we already did that. In the beginning. When Harold was dumping dollar after dollar into that piece of junk.

And needless to say Harold took his frustration on the bike out on Katie. And the bike is parked in the shed at this moment because he needs a break from it.

One day, when confident that all will be fine, I will take a success story picture of it.

But meanwhile all I can say is, grrrrrr

Bien Aqui!

Come on down Snowbirds! The weather is fine!

OMG is traffic horrible. Plugged up and congested with multiple light changes at intersections before you can move on through. And you can count the out of state license plates. Ohio, Michigan, New York, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Indiana, Illinois,Ontario, and on and on with an occasional Texas, Maine, New Hampshire tossed in. Right now most plates don't have Florida on them.

But who am I to complain? They spend a lot of money and they pay for a lot of things, which is why I don't pay state or local taxes. So nice! I can put up with them for a few months and share the sunshine.

I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!

Verucci Piece of Junk!

My dear husband came home with this piece of crap about a month ago. It's a stupid, dumb moped made by Verucci, a 2005 with 130 miles on it and WHAT A DEAL it was only $700 and no, it doesn't run, but he is going to get it to run. No problem. And before I continue let me say that the person he bought it from had cut wires from this and that and changed the carburetor in it trying to get it to run.

The junk would start, but wouldn't stay running, but upon investigation Harold discovered that the spark plug was cross firing. It took a couple of days to get the spark plug, get it cross referenced and in his possesion, but he got it and it did start a bit easier. However, it still wouldn't stay running. Harold buys a carburetor from a local business. The jerk makes him think he's getting a good deal. The carburetor had a price tag of $175 on it, but give me yours and you can have this one for $100.

Then his friend, Keith comes by to try to help him figure this bike out. It's getting spark, fuel, has compression so why won't it run? They put on the new carburetor and Keith discovers the 'slide' isn't working in the carburetor and he plays with it and gets it working,, but the final consensus is that the choke isn't operating properly. Do it manually and it will run like a banshee.

Harold buys a new choke, that comes with the 2nd new carburetor, and he also purchases the 'black box' that controls all. When they come in the mail he's so excited that it doesn't matter that he worked 12 hours that day. He takes his bath, gets dressed, and out to the garage he goes. Head hanging a couple of hours later as his effort was to no avail.

Then he's emailing the parts place that he's been ordering the parts from online located in Clearwater, FL, requesting some advice. A couple of days later he's speaking to a tech for about 1/2 an hour and he's got it all figured out now. He's got to take all apart, trace the wiring, do this, do that, put all back together and all should be well.

He started at 9 am today and it's now 7:30 pm and it still won't stay running! He stuck it up on his pickup truck and tried to take it back and the guy wasn't home. He's got to call him later. But he's still trying to get it to run out in the garage.

And Keith has company in from out of town and can't help him trouble shoot it this weekend.

Did I tell you that the 2nd carburetor was only $69 brand new, without a trade in, and included a brand new choke? Good, fair distributor in Clearwater. We still need to address the crook here in Fort Myers.

Did I also tell you that my husband bought this incredibly good deal from a fellow that gets them from Miami and is not a reputable dealer? Any dealer warranty was voided when it was given to us with cut wires, etc.

And we're waaaaaay over a $1000 now!

Some deal!

I told Harold I was going to shove it in the canal alongside our house. His response? Don't deprive ME of the pleasure!